Showing posts with label Cate Montana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cate Montana. Show all posts

15 April 2016

The Political as Personal: Reflections on Death and Dying

 
Cate Montana and me in a much more hopeful time. Click on image to view it full size. (Cate's selfie c. 2014)

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WHAT WE ARE witnessing in this year's presidential campaign is the transformation of the politics of trauma  into a politics of rage. It is unlike anything I have ever witnessed, neither during my 55-year journalism career nor as a citizen, but it is obviously (and eerily) a nationwide macrocosm of what Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described as the five stages of terminal illness:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

The trauma is capitalism's double murder of the so-called American Dream and the U.S. experiment in representative democracy. It is the shock of the accompanying assassinations, the terror generated by the inescapable joblessness of the 99 Percent and the associated foreclosures, evictions and homelessness. It is further evidenced by the resultant unprecedented increase in poverty and particularly in premature death rates, including among previously favored proletarian white males  and white women as well.

Thus we are once again shown what Karl Marx first dared reveal in 1848: that capitalism is an always-fatal disease for which there is no cure save revolution.

But – witness events in Russia c. 1917-1941 – we also know the cure can prove to be as deadly as the disease, which adds to our fearsome hopelessness.

Hence, as we shall see, the relevance of the Kübler-Ross hypothesis, which remember is not – say again NOT – necessarily a linear progression. Indeed – based on my own observations, which include the deaths of friends and colleagues, the death of liberty in the United States, the looming death of our species and my own experience with the encroachment of death that is aging – I would reverse Kübler-Ross' final two stages. First comes acceptance: the complete acknowledgment, emotional as well as intellectual, of what is occurring. Then – unless one is deluded by the fantasies provided by religion or spirituality – comes depression, the unavoidable consequence of recognizing the utter futility of human life, the ultimate metaphor for which is the graveyard.

Here then is my initial impression of how the Kübler-Ross model defines our present political circumstances:

Denial: as in the overwhelmingly closed-minded refusal of most voters, especially the Republicans and the Clintonoid Democrats, to recognize the deadliness of capitalism. Therefore they cannot understand their choices of candidates – metaphorically the same as choices of medicines and treatment modalities – are at the very least as worthless as snake oil and in all probability will radically hasten the onset of death.

Anger: the politics of rage and the present state of reaction on the Donald Trump Right and the Bernie Sanders Left

Bargaining: typified by those throughout the political spectrum who, ignorant of history, foolishly believe negotiation by disempowered masses can ameliorate the savagery of capitalism.

Acceptance: the infinitely bitter realization we have been reduced to serfdom and/or slavery, that the “America” we knew will never be resurrected and that resistance is therefore futile. The result is begrudging surrender to capitalism (that is, to a society based on the moral imbecility of infinite greed and selfishness, with these qualities officially redefined as maxim heights of virtue); and equally begrudging submission to capitalist governance (that is, to a political apparatus based on absolute power and unlimited profit for the One Percent and their Ruling Class vassals, total subjugation and bottomless poverty for all the rest of us).

Depression: the realization of our total powerlessness, characterized in the political realm by recognition of how our powerlessness reduces politics to meaninglessness. This was undoubtedly the realization that – after the 2013 Republican coup in Olympia  gave the GOP total control of Washington state government and schooled the electorate in the irrelevance of elections – prompted 72 percent of the state's registered voters to refuse to vote in 2014. The result, a turnout of only 28 percent,  is reportedly the lowest ever recorded in the United States. Not coincidentally, it reflects exactly the sort of alienation that is symptomatic of clinical depression, which in turn is increasingly recognized as a definitive byproduct of capitalism.


*** *** ***

UNLESS WE ARE obscenely rich or already lost in the wastelands of dementia, the painful realities of old age will sooner or later reveal the “golden years” meme as merely another of the Big Lies routinely disseminated by capitalism  in its predatory hunt for profits.

Originally intended to loot the pensions of petite-bourgeois retirees by conning them into buying overpriced real estate, the “golden years” Big Lie caught on because it cleverly sidesteps the awful truth of old age – that unless we are spared its horrors by the blessing of sudden death, it is a long and terrible imprisonment in ever-increasing misery and wretchedness, with our own bodies reduced to torture-chambers from which there is no hope of rescue.

There is no bargaining with old age. Its essence is ever-more-intensified awareness of approaching death. And death, which completes the aging process of reducing our bodies to reeking garbage, is likewise the obliteration of individual consciousness. Since there is nothing outside of or beyond individual consciousness, death is for each of us the apocalypse in microcosm. It is literally the end, forever, of everything including all potential.

And here in the United States – where we low-income elderly people are now forced to survive under constant threat of maliciously lethal cuts in life-sustaining stipends and services – its inherent awfulness is methodically worsened by the intentionally cruel policies of what statistics prove has become the most deliberately vicious nation in the industrial world.

*** *** ***

BEFORE I CONTINUE, I should apologize for (again) dropping out of sight.

I was working toward posting to OAN weekly, as I have done for most of its six-and-one-half year history, as indeed I did until last year, when my working life became depressingly complicated due to the failure of my computer and an infuriating succession of Microshaft-inflicted disasters with its replacement.

Hence my OAN posting-frequency dropped off to less than once per month, and I lost probably 95 percent of my readers. Finally, recognizing the magnitude of the loss, I resolved to return to once-weekly posting or at least as close a proximity to that frequency as I could achieve.

Now though old age has intervened, this time in the form of a life-threatening geriatric ailment called cellulitis, an infection that necessitated inter-venous antibiotics and an ongoing course of oral antibiotics which – knock on wood – seem to be (slowly) beating the run-amok bacteria into reluctant submission.

But that affliction, which includes the possibility of a complication called necrotizing fasciitis  – bacteriological storm troopers ravaging one's flesh, invariably causing loss of limbs and often the (merciful) loss of life – has combined with another I am not yet able to write about, and the two have stripped me of any and all illusions about the future, including whatever long-range potential I might have (foolishly) imagined was yet residual in my photography and writing.

Of course I will continue writing and photographing – for me those activities are as natural as breathing and perhaps equally vital as well – but from here on I do so with full and bitter recognition that since the 1983 fire destroyed my true life's work, I have never been more than another faint specter of that art-scene archetypal for whom William Butler Yeats wrote the short poem “To a Friend Whose Work Has Come to Nothing.”

*** *** ***

THIS IS MY second battle with cellulitis. The first, in my left leg, was in the fall of 2014. Now it is in my right leg.

My susceptibility to it is intensified both by old age and the bad circulation in my extremities that is the legacy of a childhood fall through the ice – fortunately into water that was only waist deep – during subzero Michigan weather. This time the cellulitis began a couple of days after my 76th birthday – not really a surprise as I am always stricken by some life-disrupting disaster on or near my birthdays – as if fate must always remind me that in the eyes of whatever gods might or more likely do not exist, I will never be more than the despised child I became after my mother 's 1945 attempt at post-partum abortion.

(My personal calendar includes two other days I long ago recognized as guarantors of misfortune. One is Christmas, on or close to which no less than three computers have died and which is often the occasion of some grave sickness – happy holidays from Jesus. I am similarly bashed by fate on or near the autumnal equinox: that's when I came down with the 2014 cellulitis infection, and in 1978, on that exact date (23 September), was when a defiantly habitual drunken driver's vehicular assault destroyed my new Honda Civic and damned me to a lifetime of relentlessly worsening back pain.)

The medical people tell me another contributory factor in the cellulitis problem is the now-obviously permanent obesity that has plagued me since I quit smoking 20 years ago. Though I was a slender child until I entered puberty, from about my 10th year on, my hateful mother used her summertime custody of me to force-feed me into grotesque obesity. It was, from her perspective, a trifecta: an expression of her hatred of me, an expression of her hatred of heterosexual males and, best of all, an expression of her hatred of my father – a way to avenge herself on both me and him by giving him – a former prep-school athlete who regarded obesity as an ultimate form of loathsomeness – yet another item to add to the already long list of reasons he despised me nearly as much as my mother and most of her relatives did.

But by age 15 I had smoked my way back to some semblance of physical attractiveness – at least enough to lose my virginity early that year thanks to a very lovely young lady – and though I was never truly handsome, I remained adequately attractive until the successful battle with nicotine addiction (ironically) upped my weight by 100 pounds. I smoked my last cigarette 20 years ago, and after innumerable diets it is now obvious there is no way I will ever lose the excess fat. Hence I am once again the ugly blob I was from age 10 to age 14. Obviously there are some forms of childhood accursedness that always triumph in the end.

Moreover the life-disruptions inflicted by this most recent episode of cellulitis have shown me beyond any doubt I am no longer able to meet even self-imposed deadlines, which in turn tells me there is no point trying to rebuild OAN's readership or – for that matter – attempting any work (photography or writing) more demanding than the monthly newsletter  I produce for my 50 neighbors. (And this month, thanks to my illnesses, even that is late.)

Yes, as I said above, I will continue posting here, but never again with any attempt to maintain a predetermined schedule.

Meanwhile the cellulitis is obviously prophetic. It is a preview of what awaits me in whatever years or months I have left. Old age, I now understand, is a terminal illness. I will have better days. worse days and, undoubtedly as the end nears, truly awful days, but I know now I will never again be well.

And what will become of me if I am still alive when next the One Percenters and their wholly owned Democratic and Republican vassals further slash my access to medical care?

*** *** ***

OLD AGE IS also – unless one is genuinely craven – a time of confronting the ugliest truths about one's self. When one finally acknowledges that one is definitively unlovable – that one has never known, nor ever will know, the exquisite blessing bestowed by a truly loving woman's infinitely affectionate glance – all other tragedies, death included, are diminished to psychological manageability.

Subconsciously I have have known this truth since childhood: my mother never once said she loved me, and following the events of 1945, all but one of her relatives made their own animosities evident. From their perspective I was the embarrassing reminder of a terrible secret – my mother's arrest and subsequent (merciful) confinement for two years in an insane asylum because my father (mercifully) refused to press charges against her for the attempted murder of me, their son, and himself as well. From then on, my mere existence thus threatened disclosures that – given the vast universe of predatory malice that underlies capitalism – would have jeopardize my maternal grandparents' financial security, which was based mostly on my grandfather's ability to peddle life insurance to corporate clientele.

Though no woman ever truly loved me, I did acquire, during my sexually active years, a reputation for patient, sensitive, perceptive delivery of orgasmic goods and thus – because women speak comfortably with one another of such matters in clinical detail we men can scarcely imagine – I was blessed with bed-partners aplenty. I also, from childhood onward, had many female friends, not the least because I regard their gender, with all its innumerable subtleties of interacting logic and emotion, to be far more interesting than the my own gender's (pathetically) linear thinking, which is typically as emotionless as poured concrete and as directionally predictable – boring, even – as any Interstate highway.

But the fire and its aftermath stripped me of all the occupational panoply of attractiveness. Since then – save for two distant interludes with women I had hitherto known for many years but will never see again – my bed has been naught but chilly emptiness.

Conversely, the women who were my friends – those who sought nothing more from me than intellectual companionship and/or emotional support – have remained utterly faithful to our friendship, sometimes in unexpected ways so moving it has brought me to tears.

But now nearly all of these women – Left radicals or pagan activists – are dead. Each of them was felled by cancer in the primes of their lives  – an apparent coincidence so unnerving that more than once it has prompted me to wonder if the Presidential Death Warrants announced by Barack the Betrayer do not have a much longer clandestine history.

The bright spot in all this malaise – the good news (at least for me) – is the awfulness of my childhood and the radically diminished but nevertheless omnipresent elements of wretchedness that always haunted the edges of my adult my life and that now in old age have become its epicenter have nevertheless given me an ability to unflinchingly recognize the dimensions of our present-day impasse: to think the officially unthinkable and to verbalize, often defiantly, the officially unspeakable: that the positive qualities that defined what we once thought of as “our nation” are slain and never to be resurrected, and that as a result our entire species is most likely doomed.

Seeing so clearly and unflinchingly was an exceptionally useful talent when I was a member of the working press. But I was never allowed to apply it to its maximum potential. This was true even in the alternative press, which – ironically – pioneered what is now damned as “infotainment”: a perversion spawned by its editors' relentless insistence on text that is as entertaining (i.e., “fun to read”) as it is informative.

Though it is something of an aside, I should note here I was never a “fun” writer, not even when, as a three-pack-per-day smoker, I was effectively self-medicated against dyslexia and thus at the height of my reportorial ability. The frown so often inherent in my prose – and even it its best, the corners of its mouth have always tended downward – was never a problem as long as I was in the Northeast, where news was expected to be solemnly informative, and where my reports on a New Jersey school crisis, for example, were sufficiently authoritative to be submitted as evidence in a Supreme Court case. But on the West Coast, being able to turn even a matter of grave importance into a “fun read” was a prerequisite for major-newspaper success. Hence – though I see this only now in the harsh clarity of geriatric retrospect – the real death of my journalism career, the point at which it became fatally becalmed in a Sargasso Sea of mediocre publications, was in 1970, when a decidedly improbable series of tragicomic disasters stranded me in Washington state with no means to return to New York City.


Because I have been a male Cassandra most of my adult life – my identification of the old Counterculture as the first wave of the resurrection of antiquity's Great Goddess and thus also the opening battle of a revolution against patriarchy was initially as much jeered as it has since been emphatically proven true by the events themselves – I am not surprised to be equally scorned in old age. It is merely another of the predictable but nevertheless frustrating ironies of an unalterably disadvantaged life that, even now when my skills as a visionary, iconoclastic analyst might at last prove useful in our pathetically tardy campaign to save ourselves from extinction, I am confronted by both the microcosm and macrocosm of death. The microcosm is the personal, the unmistakably terminal condition of old age and all its characteristic ailments and limitations. The macrocosm is the political, our species' headlong rush toward apocalypse, for which the interplay of shibboleths and taboos in the 2016 presidential election campaign compose an almost perfect metaphor. Whether personally or politically, I am thus already in the fast lane on the Death Expressway, and whatever I might say or do will make not a scintilla of lasting difference, either in my own circumstances or those of anyone else.

Yet as much as I am saddened by my looming personal apocalypse, I am much relieved by the near certainty I will not live long enough to witness the infinitely larger apocalypse I am now absolutely sure will befall our species and our Mother Earth just as it has already befallen the liberty for which our homeland was formerly a global symbol.

*** *** ***

AS I MYSELF was inescapably cursed by familial hatefulness, so are we all inescapably cursed by the metastasized hatefulness that defines capitalism and Abrahamic religion – the most venomously murderous pair of afflictions ever evolved on this woefully unhappy planet.

But these ideologies of malice are the very pillars of Hillary Clinton's consciousness. Which is why – as I have said so many times in comment-thread posts on Reader Supported News – I will not vote for Hillary under any circumstances. Though my preference is of course Bernie Sanders, it is literally better we have Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton. Trump not only brandishes the morally imbecilic avarice Hillary so desperately tries to hide (which makes him easier to predict and therefore to control), but, like Sanders, he swears he will protect Social Security and Medicare. Hillary meanwhile is sworn to do the opposite: to “reform” it – that is, to destroy it (thus boosting the profits of the Wall Street whoremasters) – presumably with the same genocidal savagery her husband “reformed” welfare.

In the meantime we seniors and disabled people are once again threatened with the (further) termination of our life-sustaining subsidies and services. Once again we are (deliberately) assaulted by (intentionally) death-dealing anxieties earlier generations of modern USians could never have imagined. Such is capitalism, and such too is apparently the Hillary Clinton brand of Christianity.

Hence my remarks on a Thom Hartmann comment thread  last week, shortened, revised (and therefore not italicized) for publication here:

Were there still in the United States any mainstream journalists worthy of the name, Hillary's infinite corruption – including the fact her true politics are those of the closeted, reflexively fascistic Goldwater Girl she has remained ever since opportunism prompted her to don Democratic disguise – would be common knowledge. Indeed it is at least possible she, her husband and Barack (the Betrayer) Obama are each not only the agents of Wall Street we know them to be, but willing operatives within a far greater and more malevolent One Percent conspiracy to actually destroy the Democratic Party and thereby forever remove from U.S. politics even the most remote possibility of overthrowing the plutocracy and restoring the New Deal.

If indeed Hillary's hate-Sanders campaign succeeds in winning her the Democratic nomination, it will also succeed in destroying the party beyond any hope of repair. The consequences will ensure a Republican presidential victory, the result of which will be either the beginning of de jure Christian theocracy under Cruz and his Dominionists or the advent of overt USian Nazism under Trump and his latter-day stormtroopers.

Given Hillary's Goldwater Girl politics, it is at least arguable this is her clandestine purpose. For confirmation of which see The Family: the Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power (Jeff Sharlet, Harper: 2008), pages 272-277, particularly the infinitely damning disclosure on page 275: “Hillary fights side-by-side with (Sam) Brownback and others for legislation dedicated less to overturning the wall between church and state than to tunneling beneath it” – precisely as any deep-cover Goldwater Girl/Christofascist agent would do.

It was thus no surprise to me one of Hillary's supporters would seize the RSN comment thread generated by Naomi Kline's “The Problem With Hillary Clinton Isn't Just Her Corporate Cash. It's Her Corporate Worldview” as an opportunity to denounce Sanders as a “Godless socialist.” I responded accordingly (my reference to The Family retained because I truly believe Sharlet's disclosures cannot be cited too often):

Frankly, if the United States is so toxic with Christian fanaticism it still despises spiritual nonconformists or nonbelievers and thus would deny us our Constitutional rights, then like all the other hateful Abrahamic theocracies, it deserves whatever apocalypse befalls it.

In which context note too Hillary's woefully under-publicized collaboration with the Christian Dominionists – most notably Sam Brownback and his ilk – to impose de jure theocracy: see The Family: the Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power (Jeff Sharlet, Harper: 2008), particularly pages 272-277.

Thus Hillary willingly collaborates with fanatics who believe the destruction of our planet and the extinction of our species is the “holy” fulfillment of the Abrahamic god's “divine plan.” This in turn suggests she holds such fanatical views herself. Which thereby explains both her otherwise inexplicable support for environmental destruction and her wanton provocations of nuclear war.

In other words, Hillary the 1964 Goldwater Girl is still a Goldwater Girl in 2016. Which means that in her heart, she is no different from her Republican rivals – and may in fact be running precisely to facilitate a Republican victory and the apocalypse that would inevitably follow.

Think, people. Or as a fellow Occupier so memorably said, “Occupy Your Mind.”

With Sanders' alleged atheism further inflaming the Christians – the evidence of this presidential campaign is beginning to convince me the term “Christian fanatic” is a redundancy – another pro-Sanders poster suggested the Christians' real grievance is their adamant opposition to the constitutional separation of church and state. Hence I added an afterthought:

History proves unequivocally that most people who are genuine believers in the Abrahamic religions – Judaism, Christianity, Islam – do indeed despise the Constitution. That's because the scriptures attributed to the Abrahamic god repeatedly command the persecution and death of all non-believers.

(The link to RSN's republication of Klein's piece is here. Unfortunately the link now goes directly to The Nation, the original publisher of “Corporate Worldview, ” which means the RSN comment thread has been obliterated – flushed down the Orwell hole for no reason I can discern.)

As I said on another RSN comment thread,  this in response to remarks on “Carter Dismisses Clinton's State Department Work,” my original text substantially revised (thus not italicized) for publication here:

I am increasingly convinced Hillary is an undercover operative either for the Christian Fundamentalists themselves or for some organization that recognizes how fundamentalist theology sanctions the malevolence of capitalism and enables its subjugation of the 99 Percent. Note particularly her clandestine collaboration with other Christofascist types documented by Jeff Sharlet as noted above.

Thus the birds-of-a-feather-flock-together evidence indicates she believes, as they do, in Armageddon, the End Times, the Rapture and all the other implicitly suicidal elements in Abrahamic dogma. This in turn suggests her warmongering is deliberate rather than a product of incompetence and is in fact intended to bring on the end of the human species and the destruction of Mother Earth precisely as described in the chapter of the Bible entitled “Revelation.”

Obviously, the real source of USian “exceptionalism” – the most modern variant of Nazism yet – is the exceptionalism always claimed by the creeds of Judaism, Christianity and Islam: the “one true religion,” complete with the divinely awarded right to exterminate anyone who disagrees.

In the days since I wrote that paragraph in its initial comment-thread form, it has occurred to me it is entirely possible Hillary the Goldwater Girl was recruited during her undergraduate years at Wellesley College to become the deep-cover, anything-for-the-One-Percent agent she obviously is now. She apparently went operational with her obviously loveless, obviously opportunistic marriage to Bill Clinton. Hers is thus probably the hands-on-the-joystick influence responsible for her husband's shape-shift from New Deal Democrat to Closet Republican.

By whom was she recruited? Most likely the same Gestapo types who engineered the murders of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Sen. Robert Francis Kennedy, Fred Hampton, Karen Silkwood, etc. ad nauseam. In which context Oliver Stone's comment,  “Clinton has been for every war we fought,” is especially relevant.

*** *** ***

ALSO RELEVANT TO this download of dismal discourse is the debate that so often dominates conversations between my dear friend Cate Montana and me. It is our own variant of the critical but mostly unpublicized disagreement that severed the Counterculture of Rebellion into two rival camps during the 1960s and has raged beneath the hurly-burly of USian society ever since.

One side argues, as do I, that we cannot save ourselves from extinction unless we recognize capitalism as the societal equivalent of terminal cancer and remove it with the same relentless thoroughness with which its biological counterpart is removed from the bodies of those obscenely privileged plutocrats who are wealthy enough afford the otherwise prohibitive costs of genuinely curative surgery.

In the vernacular of many 1960s communities, those who believed as I do were known as “politicals.”

The other side argues, as does Ms. Montana, that we cannot bring about the political and socioeconomic revolution that is now obviously our only alternative to extinction unless we each first experience a revolution – she would say “evolution” – in our own individual minds.

In '60s vernacular, Ms.Montana would have been labeled a “human potentialist.” Today she is part of what is called the New Age Movement.

Actually – and I cannot recall ever having witnessed more vivid proof of what I am about to say than is provided by the national dysfunction manifest in the 2016 presidential election campaign – both our positions are correct. The ignorantly reactionary rage of the Right not withstanding, it is increasingly obvious our only alternative to extinction (whether by thermonuclear war, environmental apocalypse or both) is socialism.

But the socioeconomic and political revolution essential to build socialism will not be possible until individual consciousness evolves beyond the Ayn Rand egotism that has become the USian norm. We either learn to live in a cooperative society based on the core socialist principle – from each according to ability; to each according to need – or we are doomed, already as a nation and almost certainly as a species. On this much, Ms. Montana and I emphatically agree.

Where we differ – differ radically in fact – is in the means to the end. Ms. Montana argues there can be no revolution – at least no successful revolution – without the prerequisite of personal transformation. I argue such a revolution in consciousness will not be possible until we first strip the capitalists of their now virtually divine omnipotence.

Witness the fate of Occupy: as of now, the One Percenters and their Ruling Class vassals have the truly godlike ability to detect and suppress any progressive movement – including one as definitively non-violent as the personal transformation advocated by Ms. Montana – literally before its birth. And given our absolute and eternal defenselessness in the face of the One Percent's equally godlike powers of electronic surveillance and drone-inflicted murder, even the most emphatically peaceful revolution may have already been rendered eternally impossible. Many of us, myself included, now believe the only possible way a revolution could succeed is with Mother Earth's apocalyptic intervention.

At this juncture, in fairness to Ms. Montana, I believe it better she speak for herself. Here then is an explanatory quote from page 129 of her forthcoming book The E Word (Enliven Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster), which is slated for publication next year:

Over 99 percent of all scientists warn about the devastating impact of fossil fuels and climate change and the cataclysm the world is rapidly headed towards. But the egos in charge—the captains of government and industry crazed by their lust for personal power and control at all costs—don’t care.

And if the rest of us don’t catch on, shift gears and boot the crazies out of the driver’s seat—including the crazy running our own lives—we already know the outcome.

Since 1950 no fewer than 263 movies depicting apocalyptic wasteland realities have hit the silver screen: On the Beach, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Mad Max, Soylent Green...

In Ms. Montana's formulation, “the crazy running our own lives” is ego, which she describes, on page 91, as a highly fearful and insecure program obsessed with image issues...This EGO MIND is in control. not us. And the distressing, frightening, dog-eat-dog world we live in is the result. (Caps as in original.)

In other words, before we can topple our external oppressors, each of us must first liberate ourselves, overthrowing that which oppresses us internally, replacing it by shifting to a level of higher consciousness she asserts is already within us and awaiting activation. She has written The E Word – which borrows from her decades of personal experience with the world's transformative disciplines (Zen Buddhism, Taosim and the like) – to explain to us in everyday, non-esoteric yet often lyrical English, how such liberation might be realized.

Beneath the meditations described in The E Word is the unspoken and profoundly compelling assumption the human mind, when properly focused, can transcend even the most formidable modes of oppression. It is an ancient idea, probably most evident in the practices and traditions that enabled countless generations of Asian peoples to ride the disciplines of Zen and Taoism into a state of mind that rendered the indigenous horrors of caste and tyranny irrelevant. But these disciplines also suppressed – totally suppressed – the yearning for political and economic liberty that has been a driving force in Occidental society since the original, proto-communistic tribal democracies were exterminated by the advent of patriarchy and the emergence of imperialism.

Now however – because capitalism has grown so monstrously tyrannical its only counterparts are to be found in the histories of the ancient despotisms to which Taoism and Zen were reactions – such remedies as Ms. Montana urges may be our only alternative, a point made by Chris Hedges  in a 2013 essay entitled “A Time for Sublime Madness”:

It is only those who can retreat into the imagination, and through their imagination can minister to the suffering of those around them, who uncover the physical and psychological strength to resist.

cited Hedges  in “Unbearable Truths: Reflections on the Imbecility of Hope,” an OAN piece that is relevant here because its opening graf posed a variant of the same question The E Word seeks to answer:

How does one who came of age when the United States was still a quasi-democratic, socioeconomically mobile society, cope with the new USian realities of irremediable powerlessness and inescapable socioeconomic hopelessness? 

Ms. Montana answers, as if in reply, “There really is an understanding of self and life and the human condition so profound and complete it washes away all confusion and thus all fears, conflict, doubt and seeking forever...We just need to know what's what, so we can make it happen” (page 171).

The wellspring premise in Ms. Montana's work – the metaphysical precept from which The E Word flows – is that of an infinite, universal source-consciousness. It is, as she describes it, a borderless realm that is as absolutely real as the gods are absolutely metaphorical. It unites all being in the sort of force-field the discoveries of quantum mechanics suggest is the first cause of existence and therefore the origin of all being.

Perhaps its best summation ever – whether in classical literature or modern scientific treatise – is its metaphorical description by Lao Tzu 2600 years ago:


(1)

The DAO that can be expressed
is not the eternal DAO.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal name...


(34)

The great DAO is overflowing:
It can be to the left and the right.
All things owe their existence to it,
and it does not refuse itself to them...

(35)

...You look for it and you see nothing special.
You listen for it and you hear nothing special.
You act according to it and you find no end.

(From Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, The Book of Meaning and Life,
translation and commentary by Richard Wilhelm, translated
into English by H.G. Ostwald; Arkana: 1985)


Point being, I urge you all to read Ms. Montana's book when it becomes available next year.

*** *** ***

MY POSITION ON all this remains much as I stated it in “Unbearable Truths”:

Though a part of me believes, fervently and on the basis of seemingly otherwise-inexplicable evidence, in the existence of (some) deity and an afterlife including reincarnation, another part of me can with equal conviction refute all such evidence as hallucinatory symptoms of terminal insanity – the final response of the human mind to the terrifying reality of death: the fact that for the one who is dying, death is literally the end of everything, including the cosmos itself.

Trouble is, after the confrontation with mortality forced on me by this ongoing struggle – with cellulitis (which because of an apparent abscess may yet send me to the hospital and could even cost me my leg, a loss that, given my age and how I am crippled by spinal arthritis, would unquestionably be fatal), also with this other affliction I cannot yet name aloud – even the most logically presented, eloquently phrased notions of any reality beyond the world of our five senses is reduced to absurdity. Connection with DAO will not stop a bullet. Nor will psychic immersion in the ego-less state advocated by Ms. Montana – please, Cate, no offense intended – halt assault by terminal infection.

Like most New Agers, Ms. Montana often emphasizes our species' kinship with all other earthly life. But once we acknowledge that kinship – once we see ourselves mirrored in all else which is born and lives and thus inevitably dies (particularly if we have hunted and fished and grown food and watched other creatures expire) – we cannot but recognize the absolute permanence of death. The grouse knocked dead from the sky by a shotgun and fetched by a spaniel never resurrects itself in a game bag or anywhere else; the trout in a creel never awakens to new life; the spent corn-stalks cut down and stacked in shocks never re-green to fecund vitality. Death is forever – and even if one is willing to yield themselves up to utter madness – that fact is inescapable. So it has always been, and so it will always be.

Incidentally, it is precisely such intimacy with nature that reveals Abrahamic religion as the ultimate scam – as nothing more than an X-rated version of the Santa Claus myth, a tale of a vengeful god who knows if we are “naughty or nice” and sadistically punishes our temporal failings with the inconceivable horror of eternal torture. That is why I am always surprised by the Christian fanaticism of so many farmers and other rural people whose proximity to Nature should ensure their immunity to ecclesiastical lies.

Those of us inclined to political analysis, as I surely am, also recognize in Abrahamic doctrines not only the opiate condemned by Marx but a scare-fiction uniquely useful to bosses and other sorts of tyrants for controlling the behavior of ignorant subjects. But even then, if we have been raised in the Abrahamic traditions (which like their offspring capitalism have now metastasized throughout our planet), some residual fear may continue to haunt us no matter how thoroughly we have repudiated its vengeful dogmas: thus the huge number of death-bed conversions, an impulse of last-minute cowardice I fervently hope I will be able to resist.

Nor does Goddess-centered paganism offer a better alternative, as I discovered while being repeatedly stabbed with large-gauge needles during the nurses' apologetic but nevertheless miserably painful search for a vein suitable for massive infusions of antibiotics. I am what in medical parlance is called “a hard stick,” notoriously so; the circulatory systems in my arms and hands legs and feet are shrunken by the frostbite resulting from my childhood fall through the ice. Usually I am able to stifle my inclination to moan and wail, but this time the probing was genuine torture, and I was biting my lip to remain silent. When I could not Zen myself into numbness, I prayerfully sought the comforting arms of the Great Cosmic Mother or any other theoretical source of mercy. Eventually the nurses found a functional vein for their IV port. As for me, I found only darkness: the tomb of all hope, the grave of all illusion.


LB/14 April 2016


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02 December 2015

More Reflections on Faun and Revolutionary Music

(The following is a expansion of my recent comments about Faun,  the outspokenly Pagan German musical troupe that has become part of Europe's post-Christian avant-garde Left and one of its primary cultural magnets. Like today's commentary, this too was birthed by my correspondence with the writer Cate Montana, who has become one of my closest friends.)

***

I WAS ZENNING OUT, recovering from the monthly madness of the senior-citizen newsletter I edit and produce, when I decided to play some more of Faun's work including “Blaue Stunde,” a piece to which I had not really listened before.

Then playing it while actually paying attention,  I discovered several of those poetically indicative chills in the musical accompaniment and instantly became enough curious about the song to run down a translation of its lyrics

What I discovered was rather mind-blowing. From the lyrics of “Blaue Stunde” I would say whomever wrote them actually encountered the Goddess, much as I did in the water meadow at Wickersham on 15 August 1970...

I had walked alone and lonely into the Innis Creek water meadow, a vast unkempt field beyond the buildings and gardens of the Wickersham, Washington commune where I was then staying, and now I stood amidst Nature's shadowy harbingers of Autumn: blown thistles, bright clumps of pearly everlasting, iridescent cobwebs bejeweled with dew. The communards were meeting in their main building but were ensnared in psychodrama intensified by ideological disputes, and I had left in bitterness and disgust. Now in search of inner peace I sprawled on the ground and gazed at the zenith-high improbably brilliant full moon as if it were some mandala of last resort. Then to my astonishment there was a kind of psychic jolt, intangible yet seismic in its intensity, as if some unseen door had burst open, and all in the same breathtaking instant the moon spiraled into a rainbow that expanded to fill the entire sky, contracted to a vortex of spinning colors, plunged tornado-like to earth and shaped a magnificently ageless woman pale and translucent as mist yet undeniably real. She was majestically naked but loosely wrapped in the lunar blonde infinity of her own hair; she smiled, reached out her hands, touched me, perhaps even kissed my brow, then like some impossibly magical dancer swirled her endless mane into rainbow hues that swept her aloft, dissolving herself back into revolving bands of color that expanded once more from horizon to horizon and shrank into the moon again – a millisecond's vision, a mere glimpse so brief and so ephemeral I could scarcely believe I had seen it and yet so vivid it could not be denied.  But now as if nothing at all had occurred there was only the commonplace moon again, the midnight sky and its diamond constellations, the fragrant crush of wild chamomile beneath my head, the vast nocturnal stillness of Pacific Northwest woods so unlike the firefly-bright insect-rowdiness of the fields and forests in which I'd spent the summers of my boyhood and adolescence.  When the night's chill finally urged me to my feet, I remember there were faint tendrils of fog rising from the creek, and for a moment, just once, it seemed I heard the clear cold water chuckle.

….much as Apuleius (124-170 CE) encountered her at sea (for which see the account beginning on page 70 of The White Goddess [Farrar, Straus and Giroux edition: 1982]), much as Graves himself obviously encountered her but – lest he be declared insane – never dared acknowledge it save in his poetry: “Her sea-blue eyes were wild/ But nothing promised that is not performed.”

Whether such encounters are objectively real or merely an especially intricate manifestation of some carefully unacknowledged insanity spawned by our species' overwhelming terror of mortality – and I must confess I myself alternate between precisely those antitheticals – one does not write such poetically accurate description from belief or theory alone: again my own statement that one cannot be truly Pagan unless one has spent enough time in the back country to have seen the shadows dance. Indeed  as I wrote the preceding sentence it came to me – and with that bright undeniable certainty of an old-time flash-bulb going off – here is the entire story of my life: seeing the shadows dance sufficient times to learn not to flinch, to embrace the experience as a demonstration of love, and now that I am too old and worn down by age and poverty to retreat again to the wilderness and once more hide there from the Lords of Chaos who have usurped that which rightfully belongs to Our Lady, to at last bear witness to what half the time I know to be unequivocally true. Quoth Graves: “none greater in the universe than the Triple Goddess.”

Which, by the way, is why I bristle at the Xtians even when, as now, they occasionally acknowledge the relevance of ritual dance and thereby (unwittingly) underscore the irremediable contradiction between the dialectically inertial momentum of matter that is the essence of life versus the infinite hatred of sensuality and indeed of the entire physical realm that is implicit in the definitively misogynistic, definitively ecocidal dogma at the core of Judaism, Christianity and Islam alike.

But perhaps I should not bristle quite so much. Ritual dance has been methodically denied the followers of the downpresser Abrahamic creeds since the Deuteronomic (patriarchal) "reforms" of approximately 600 BCE,  and the fact dance is now (begrudgingly) admitted to some Xtian ritual cannot be anything other than yet another example of how, when the Goddess is barred from the front door, she inevitably creeps in the back door – a truism that is of course dismissed as “an old wives' tale” – never mind that is precisely what she did via the folk-music renaissance of the 1950s – in which context note the noun "ballad" as a  derivative of the same root (Latin as I remember) that gave us "ballet." In other words, a ballad was once by definition  the musical and poetic accompaniment of a dance, a ritual dance, the  connection remaining so powerful that in some of the original folk-renaissance renderings of balladry (such as Martin Carthy's variant of “Willie's Lady”), the music is so vivid my mind's eye can see the turns of dance – the very sort of vision so emphatically underscored by Faun, obviously knowingly as I believe they are all classically trained musicians and being European are of course classically educated as well.

(How ironic one of our main hopes for a sustainable world comes from what was only recently the most warlike nation on this battered planet.)

Returning to “Blaue Stunde,” as an individual piece of music it stands in stunning contrast to the present-day music associated with U.S. expressions of the resurrection of the Goddess. What was performed nearly 50 years ago by the (probably murdered) Tim Buckley was wrenchingly powerful – “if you tell me of all the pain you've had/ I'll never smile again,” a line from “Phantasmagoria in Two” (a modern variant of the classic dialogue between poet and Muse), probably has no equal even in antiquity – but it has no  counterpart in today's U.S. Paganism, which has become like the USian people themselves, oppressively submissive. A good example is Loreena McKennitt's work, which was originally unapologetically Pagan, but which she has since – no doubt under severe external pressure – diligently repositioned as New-Age-ecumenical instead. Indeed – and despite the sometimes-bold content of its lyrics – in its new, self-consciously de-Paganized context, it often comes off more as lamentation than celebration or defiance. (And as I know all too well from my various odysseys into the organized versions of U.S. Goddess-centered Paganism, the decidedly serf-like passivity of its participants [and therefore of much of its present-day music] goes hand-in-hand with its definitively oppressed and obnoxiously oppressive we-are-all-victims pacifism. The result is a vehement but implicitly frightened [maybe-if-we-aren't-militant-they-won't-kill-us] rejection of politics in any form – which is of course the source of the real U.S. Left's unmitigated scorn of Paganism as “no different from many other religion in being just another opiate to facilitate the oppression of the masses” [the quote is from a Marxian comrade] – and which therefore provides us with a classic example, as valid as the induced racism and sexism that forever fragments the U.S. Working Class,  of “divide et impera” in action.)

It is an aside, albeit a pointedly relevant one, to note the curious anachronism within the Buckley video linked above. The song was recorded in 1967, while the video – obviously made by someone who recognized the poetic vision that was the wellspring of Buckley's best work – was made in 2011. Though he has been dead since 1975, and though the relatively free world of the '70s was almost indescribably different from the slave-world of today, in the parlance of hipster poets and musicians, “Tim Buckley Lives.” Indeed there may be no greater praise the human mind can formulate.

That said, “Blaue Stunde” is truly a horse of a different sort (if you will pardon the spontaneous emergence of a stream-of-subconscious reference to the Celtic/Scythian Goddess Epona), with what kind of horse she is revealed by the accompany drumming. “Blaue Stunde” is ritual dance, yes, but it has none of the implicit submissiveness that has come to define so much U.S. paganism, which given the omnipresence of the secret police (and precisely as suggested by the semiotic evidence I cited above), has probably been infiltrated and co-opted much as Women's Liberation was infiltrated and co-opted – so that the depth of one's commitment is now defined by only by one's material success. As the mainstream brand of U.S. feminism is surely Ayn Rand feminism, so it seems there is also a mainstream Ayn Rand Paganism. Such is the Pavlovian power of capitalism, specifically the mind-mangling might of Madison Avenue.

What first caught my attention about “Blaue Stunde” what prompted me to seek out the lyrics (and what so surprised me about their content) was obvious militance of the music. Focusing more closely, I realized it was the drumwork, which, when I began actually hearing it, stood my hair on end with that wondrous chill of recognition. Note the four-beat drum-flourish at the end of certain lines in the lyrics:

“And the pale light of dawn outlined
Her head adorned by the morning dew” (drum flourish).

“Her fairy-like limbs were white as the moon
Her hair was like made of gold” (drum flourish).

Note also the drum riffs elsewhere in the piece.

What I realized, listening so intently, is “Blaue Stunde,” despite its poignant beauty, is most assuredly not the music of submission. It is instead the music of active resistance. Indeed though I do not know how I knew it – I suddenly recognized the drums as  war drums, the sort of tribal ritual that is a prelude to a battle and the sort of music that accompanies you as you advance across open ground against a vastly superior enemy, you assuming you will not live to see the next moonrise or maybe even the next minute but not really giving a damn because that is the desperation to which you have been driven by the foe's depredations and yet by some miracle not only you yourself survive but so do most of your comrades and in the end you have won the day and won the future – perhaps as if Boudicca and all she symbolized had triumphed on that fateful morning in the midlands of Albion somewhere north of the still smoldering ruins of Londinium or if Wounded Knee had become the beginning of a victorious rising rather than the end of First Nations resistance. Whatever, I glimpsed it clearly for a moment, by the time-reference provided by its weaponry sometime in the pre-atomic past or more likely in the post-apocalyptic future...

(“And the pale light of dawn outlined
Her head adorned by the morning dew”)

I am as you know given to reject such mind's-eye visions unless I am able to rationalize them at least to the extent of recognizing their real-time sources, and of course I have since tried to do that with “Blaue Stunde” and have succeeded to the extent of recognizing the longer riffs with the congas echoing as if through slumlord streets, the rhythm identical to what one so often heard on the Lower East Side during the weeks after the Tompkins Park (Police) Riot of 1967, as an organization called Jade Companions of the Flower Dance briefly united Hippies and Hispanics in common resistance to the invading cops and thrill-seeking suburban phonies. Verily, if I may be allowed to paraphrase Dylan, “red lights flashing in the hot Manhattan night,” complete with drums echoing ominously 24/7. 

Faun's eclectic combination of drums and pipes in “Blaue Stunde” also reminded me of an incident during one of the anti-Vietnam War protest marches when maybe 500 or 1000 Caucasian thugs had bottled up the entire 500,000-person demonstration in Central Park and kept us there until the members of the Columbia University Pipe Band edged their way to the front of the crowd, formed themselves into what a half-century earlier would have been a line of battle and, skirling their pipes and drumming a rhythm similar to (or maybe even identical to) that of "Blaue Stunde," led us out of the park and onto Fifth Avenue. The thugs, some of whom had baseball bats or chains and who were brazenly countenanced by the cops (as was commonplace in those days), fled in obvious fear as soon as the pipers began leading the advance.

But what it was about the punctuational drum flourishes in “Blaue Stunde” that first caught my attention remains undefined, never mind the undeniable recognition implicit in the initial chill. Though now as I think of it I believe I remember reading or hearing somewhere – most likely both as the reality of music remains beyond the descriptive ability of linear language – such drum-emphasis was, along with stringed instruments and pipes, characteristic of ancient epic poetry.

As to the use of genuine love poetry as inspiration to resistance, the only people I know of in the modern age to have done so are Celts...and of course Russians, in which context note “Beriozka” (Birch Tree), a favorite of the Red Army in World War II and – because birch is used in making musical instruments – an invocation of Yulya,  one of the many Slavonic names for the Goddess – hence the chorus: variations on the theme of “Yulee, Yulee lovely birch tree.” 
 
It was so beloved by the Red Army, it was recorded by the Red Army Chorus and Dance Troupe.  and just for retro-kicks, here it is, static and all, as I heard it via the 78-rpm music of my earliest childhood.  Then of course there is how it is formally danced, in this instance preceded  by some of the most stunningly hypnotic choreography I have yet seen:   With this sort of aesthetic quality commonplace elsewhere, no wonder the rest of the  world damns us as “nyekulturniy.”

Not really relevant to this essay (which began as the sort free-association, semi-stream-of-consciousness thing Cate so often inspires whenever she and I talk or exchange emails) – or maybe relevant in some way I don't yet see – is the Faun piece that, were I a videographer, I would use – as I stated in an OAN essay in 2012 – as the accompaniment to that incredible footage of the horse rescue in Holland c. 2005.

Quoth Buffy Sainte-Marie many years ago, when only allegedly nutso people like myself (and unfortunately a few spooks) had any idea what obtained: “Goddess is alive/Magic is afoot”

LB/24 November – 2 December 2015

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