*
RECOGNIZABLY PROPHETIC DREAMS come to
me very rarely, no more than a dozen times in all my 73 years, and
thus far they have foretold only personal disasters, occurrences of
no significance to anyone but myself or maybe a few other members of
my relentlessly dysfunctional family.
A few of these events were relatively
minor vexations that at the time of their occurrence seemed
bottomlessly horrific, like the vengefully inflicted delays by
which my birthmother ensured I missed an end-of-summer passenger
train and was fretfully tardy in returning to my academic-year
residence in the home of my father and stepmother and even more
anxious about my entrance to the bully-dominated jungle of a
southern public high school – itself a profoundly disturbing
transition after four years in the carefully regulated sanctuary of
Roman Catholic parochial education.
Some episodes in which my nightmares
came true were a bit more problematical, like Vietnam-Era G.I. Bill
education checks inexplicably delayed so long the resultant poverty
nearly flung me into homelessness, which happened three times in 1971
and once in 1972.
Another incident, of which I
dreamed at least twice beforehand, was irremediably injurious: it was
a Godzilla-versus-Bambi car crash at 4:30 p.m. on a rainy 23
September 1978, when one of Washington state's obscenely coddled
habitually criminal drunken drivers slammed his huge 442 Oldsmobile
into my tiny new Honda Civic and inflicted the spinal injuries that
now in old age have reduced me to a cripple.
(For the record, “obscenely coddled”
contains not one scintilla of hyperbole. The moral imbecile at the
wheel of the monster Oldsmobile had been arrested 19 times on charges
of driving while intoxicated, but the arrests were all dismissed or
reduced to meaninglessness, a fit prelude to his 20th offense, when
he crippled me, destroyed my little car and reportedly rang the
Breathalyzer bell with a near-record blood-alcohol score of point-32. But
the associated charges, which included assaulting an officer, also were
thrown out, and this obviously well-connected Chug-a-Lug Charley
continued his potentially deadly spree of defiantly dipsomaniacal
motoring until only a few years ago, when terminal liver failure
rather than a blind [drunk?] judiciary at last took him permanently
off our streets and highways.)
Nor could I have foreseen my encounter with this malicious sociopath clearly enough to avoid it. Unfortunately for my prospects as a
professional seer, I never recognize my dreams as prophetic until
they are confirmed by subsequent events. There are never any of
those Biblical jazz angels whose trumpet riffs are alleged to signify
prophecy; neither is there – as would surely be more appropriate
in my case – a Celtic or perhaps Scythian priestess with Jecsa
Hoop's astonishingly evocative
voice chanting of “Havoc in Heaven” or singing of a woman with “hair of fire and skin of snow”
as if to warn me I am about to bear witness to my own future.
Having duly acknowledged the relevant metaphysical handicaps, I will now try to write coherently of the dream that, five nights ago,
scared me into palpitations of such intensity I thought for a moment
I was having a heart attack. Then of course I remembered the Yoga by
which I had held my deteriorating spinal injuries at bay for nearly
three decades – that is, until the exercises themselves became
impossibly painful – and there in my bed of post-frightmare
cold-sweat nightfullness I soon managed to deep-breathe my pulse back
to normal.
Yet the content of the dream continues
to haunt my waking hours, which tells me the only way I can exorcise
its chilling grasp is by revealing it. Hence I describe it here as
best as I can reconstruct its curious sequence of images, not
because I suspect it might be prophetic – in fact I pray it is not
– but rather because I hope full disclosure will be fully healing.
I've also no doubt the dream expresses
something of the awful anxiety the now undeniably total corruption of
the U.S. political system and both its parties is inflicting on all
of us – particularly on those of us who are dependent on the
government for survival, as for example are all Social Security and
Medicare recipients. We are afraid because we know cutbacks to these
programs will literally kill us, and these days – given that the
Republican and Democratic party labels are themselves Big Lies and
that we are in fact ruled ever more despotically by one party of two
names – our fears are rational, constant and mercilessly
relentless.
Thus in this dream I am logically as I
am now, old and crippled though still as journalistically capable as
ever. But in its surrealism I am also again the investigative
reporter for The Jersey Journal as
I was in 1969 and 1970, when I scooped the world on the
heroin-addiction epidemic inflicted on the U.S. by the Vietnam War,
only to be robbed of proper credit for my greatest story ever by some
back-shop patriot's vindictive removal of my byline and the resultant
unrestrained glory-hogging by The New York Times the
following morning.
Jersey Journal
Managing Editor August Lockwood has been dead since 1997, yet now
in the dream he is again my boss. With his omnipresent
corner-of-the-mouth cigar he looks exactly as he did when I was one
of his star reporters, and just as he might have done in real life,
he has assigned me to track down and interview a Jersey City man who
supposedly knows the details of President Richard Nixon's plan to
suspend the 1972 elections.
Perhaps significantly, this Nixon
aspect is based on an obscure but damning truth. By Christmas 1969, a
few Washington D.C. insiders were credibly claiming Nixon had
commissioned the Rand Corporation to prepare the rationale for just
such a coup, and their allegations were courageously exposed by the
Newhouse News Service, another property of The JJ's parent
corporation, which gives these parts of the dream even more logical
cohesion.
But then as so often happens in
dreamtime, the meaning of “now” shifts without warning or advance
notice and it is suddenly 1 October 2013. I am still on assignment,
still working for the resurrected Gus Lockwood, still at my battered
oaken desk, still banging out my copy on a Royal Standard mechanical
typewriter in The Journal's smoke-filled newsroom, and my
reportorial thought process is still subconsciously punctuated by the
suck-bang of the pneumatic tubes that carried copy to the composing
room, but the Nixon story has morphed into an elaborate conspiracy by
which the Democrats and Republicans and their Wall Street masters are
scheming to end all pretense of constitutional governance.
These politicians have gridlocked
Congress behind a charade of controversy and shut down the government,
and now they intend to hurl the nation into internationally ruinous
default by refusing to raise the debt ceiling. The stock market has
plunged to an all-time low and the resultant chaos already includes
breathtakingly violent rioting by desperate people who are condemned
to death by the end of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, food
stamps and every other federal socioeconomic-assistance program.
Meanwhile the same sources who had
defied federal secrecy to reveal the Vietnam Era heroin-addiction
scandal have returned from their own graves and retirement homes and
are restored to the bodies they occupied in 1970, and now in my dream
they are telling me the entire shutdown crisis is the deliberately
scripted prelude to a military takeover intended to be at least as
bloody as the 1973 Chilean murder-and-torture coup that was
engineered by the Central Intelligence Agency to protect USian
imperial business interests and capitalism in general. The military,
these sources say, will impose the fascist dictatorship the One
Percent has sought since the failure of the Bankers' Plot in 1934.
And one source has finally squirreled away the top secret documents
to prove it.
The purloined papers indicate the
dreamland junta will immediately transfer power to a national board of
directors chosen from the chief executives of the most profitable
USian corporations. The formerly elected politicians whose deceptions
facilitated the coup will be rewarded with lifetime appointments as
local managers who carry out the board's decrees. The board's
absolute and unchallengeable authority will be explained to the USian
citizenry as vital to the defense of corporate personhood against
angry parasites turned domestic terrorists – seniors, disabled
people, welfare recipients, all the “takers not makers” officially
despised in accordance with Ayn Rand doctrine.
"At last" – or so the nation's most
expensive advertising campaign will announce as soon as the coup is
complete – “we're running government as a business.”
Now in the dream I recognize my story is
shaping up to be one helluva fine exposé,
and in the old days before the news monopolies turned USian
journalism into Randite propaganda, I already know it would have
earned me a sure Pulitzer. But it is still 2013; even in dreamtime I must convince the presumably immortal Gus to defy the
invisible censors if the scoop is ever to see the light of day.
But when I gather my notes and unhook
my cane from a slightly open desk drawer and lurch up from my swivel chair to go
tell Gus what I've unearthed and plead the case for its full
disclosure, The JJ's busy East Coast newsroom is suddenly an empty but
familiar Pacific Northwest newspaper office with a torn and faded “Tired of the Same Old Shit”
poster
on its far wall, a defiant bit of Manhattan outrageousness the
politically correct staffers of this particular publication would never
have tolerated in actuality.
What has happened is I've been dream-teleported into an abandoned and thoroughly trashed version of the ramshackle space in the faded-brick-and-crumbling-plaster, Klondike gold-rush-era building from which a self-consciously countrified but environmentally competent alternative journal called Northwest Passage was published in Bellingham's Fairhaven District during the height of the Back-to-the-Land Movement in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
What has happened is I've been dream-teleported into an abandoned and thoroughly trashed version of the ramshackle space in the faded-brick-and-crumbling-plaster, Klondike gold-rush-era building from which a self-consciously countrified but environmentally competent alternative journal called Northwest Passage was published in Bellingham's Fairhaven District during the height of the Back-to-the-Land Movement in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
I
am utterly alone. There is no one
else in this structure save the fearsomely malevolent ghosts I know
are lurking in its darker corners and behind its closed doors and at
the ends of its oppressively lightless corridors. I have been in this
place during other dream odysseys and have learned from experience my
magick is not strong
enough to protect me from these ectoplasmic predators.
In self-protective revulsion I hurredly limp outside,
but now the entire physical environment has changed. The building is no
longer a nightmare variant of the Good Earth Community Center, which
was a countercultural meeting hall and a crash-pad for itinerant
hippies as well as a food co-op and the editorial home of the
Passage. Instead it has become the ominous remnant of a
three-storey Georgian mansion amidst a Blair Witch Project
forest, toxically gnarly versions of the deciduous trees common to
New York and New Jersey and Pennsylvania, oak and ash and sycamore
and willow, their branches stripped bare by winter, the overwhelming
sense of desolation eerily intensified by occasional white pine or
blue spruce grown uncomfortably like
exclamation points of silent screams.
Then beyond the ruin I see a river,
thick and murky and steaming with pollution, and amidst the barren
willows on its further bank is a squad of soldiers – present-day
U.S. soldiers with their Darth Vader assault rifles and camouflage
uniforms and Nazi-like helmets – and now the soldiers are shooting
at me and their bullets are cracking past my head and smacking into
the building and gouging the surrounding trees and I am fleeing,
hobbling as fast as I can through damply matted piles of brown leaves
and across cold slippery patches of dirty snow ever deeper into the
forest and my arthritic knees hurt and now I am too old and too tired
and too winded to go any further and my fear gives way to terrible
sadness and I wake up gasping for breath and grateful to have been
rescued by wakefulness from torture and death.
Thank Goddess or god or fate or karma
or randomness or entropy or the divine self or whatever higher power
you choose, it was only a nightmare. I hope.
LB/6 October 2014
-30-